Fifteen years ago, just before Paul & I got married, I went on Depo-Provera. I was, at that time, somewhere between 15 and 20 lbs overweight. Three months after my first Depo-Provera injection, I had gained 40 lbs. The weight had come on so quickly that I had stretch marks. I knew I had gained weight, but didn’t connect the obvious dots back to Depo-Provera because of the stresses of getting married, moving to a new city, a new job, and so on.

When Paul & I got married, I was working as a retail store manager and was on my feet and moving 45 hours a week. After two years at this job, injuries to my feet made it necessary for me change jobs. I went from being active daily to a full-time desk job. I didn’t exercise and my lifestyle was to work hard all day and then come home and collapse on the couch in front of the TV. Paul & I ate out a lot. Being overweight was a constant source of discouragement to me… I would constantly wish and pine for being right-weighted. I began to learn more about optimal nutrition, fitness and personal health through magazines and books. I made very small changes to my diet, but nothing significant.

During these years I was dealing with a lot of depression and self-destructive behaviors… one of those behaviors was making myself feel as bad physically as I did emotionally. I would eat food that was super sugary, fatty and caloric. I didn’t think about it that way, but I was eating to make myself feel sick – and I always did. I was putting on more weight with each year.

In the fall of 2004, Amira was born. While pregnant with her, I topped the scales around 300 lbs. After she was born, I dropped to 280. I hovered there for about a year. Exercise was very difficult for me for a while after Amira’s birth – but I improved my eating habits and dropped a few pounds. All the while, I continued reading and learning about health, nutrition, and fitness.

In 2007, I went to a naturopathic doctor and found that I was indeed very unhealthy. I began regimens under my doctor’s advice to begin the healing. I’ve lost weight and made progress on my overall health. As of today, I’m at 250.

I’m putting that history completely behind me now and starting a new story, a new chapter. I have a long way to go to achieve optimal health but I’m ready. I don’t know exactly what I should weight, but I’m guessing it to be around 140 lbs. We’ll find out and fine tune when we get there. That’s a long way away yet, so I’m not going to worry about that so much as beginning the journey of transforming my lifestyle. I already know there are going to be days that I don’t feel like it – but it’s not about what I feel like. It’s about what I’m committed to, what I believe in and what I DO each day.